Tales from the PCT - The Chipmunk

I was somewhere in northern California, pounding the trail and feeling the thirst. A couple of hours ago I had finished off the last of my double-triple caffeine spiked breakfast sludge. The previous night I dry camped and, being too lazy to carry the extra water, I was running low. After experiencing a significantly unfun bout of dehydration on my very first day out on the PCT, it seemed I was still a sucker for punishment! Well, all in good fun! The caffeine would keep me going.

The thing with caffeine though, is the diuretic effect. So this particular day Murphy's law had it that, parched throat and all, I was also holding quite a large pee. Now when it comes to thru-hikers relieving themselves there are three distinct progressions in the execution of the task. In the early days you tend to take a few paces off the trail. Later on you learn to just stop right on the trail, swing to the side and go.

The third stage is actually only reached by a small minority and requires certain specialized skills. You see, with thru-hiking time is miles (yes, I coined that phrase) and there are those individuals who have mastered the technique of not stopping at all! Somehow dangling, spraying across the trail as they walk and shuffle, these higher beings never stop moving and in the process not only manage to stay dry but also save on hiking downtime...

I never quite reached this advanced stage but I did however develop my own system: I would simply hold it in until I found that spot with the perfect view. Now this is unhealthy I know, but it meant killing two birds with one stone - you get the scenery fix and the relief in one package. Remember, time is miles. And, luckily, perfect views are littered along the PCT.

So on this day, after some more walking I ended up with a pretty full reservoir right at the perfect spot. Slightly off the trail and with a great view of the hills and valleys beyond, I got a good strong stream going.

The flow continued to stay strong when suddenly I noticed some movement from under a bush to my right. A chipmunk was darting directly at me. More specifically, it seemed to be aiming for this single stream of water hitting the dry earth in front of it. And, my oh my, it's aim was ever so true!

Now, this is where I'm not too sure as to what the tiny guy's plan was. I mean, I know deer like a bit of urine licking. But chipmunks? And why was our little friend so bold? My first guess is that it was probably pretty thirsty itself and just couldn't believe it's luck when, from it's sheltered view under the bush, it saw a miracle water source materialize out of thin air. Or maybe, feeling threatened by the appearance of this yellow liquid apparition on it's doorstep, it decided to attack!

Regardless of it's true intention, immediately after taking a nice big swig/bite the critter jumped back and froze! It was clearly stricken and confused. I continued to pee, but now in awe. It was at this moment I believe it first noticed me, looking straight up and eyeballing me with a look that must be a chipmunk's best attempt at a grimace. Standing there, motionless, it regarded me for a few more seconds and then finally retreated. Whether in horror or disgust, I could not tell.